Parents...

I read this book prob a year ago... skimming it again, in reference to career...
Here are some notes that I found relevant to me...

Chapter 4 – Doctor or Lawyer

Understanding our parents
First – attempt to understand where our coming from in their perspective on our career choices.
Among Asian parents, providing well and having one’s physical needs met in an ample and dignified way is of utmost importance.
Second – we struggle to communicate well with our parents because they may not share some of the values that may be assumed by this current more Americanized generation.
We often speak in different languages from what our parents speak.
A friend of mine remembers telling her mother during college that she wanted to do something after college that ‘would help her get in touch with who she really was.’ Her mother, however, who had not been influenced by such a psychological oriented, individualistic culture, had no concept or value for self-expression or psychological self-understanding. “I know who you are, you are my daughter. Study hard and get a good job.”
When a culture based on Confucian philosophy encounters a culture that has been deeply influenced by humanistic psychology, much confusion can result.
Our parents love us very much, but their conceptions of what ultimately will make us happy differ from our own ideas.
Third – it is wise to keep in mind that our parents may hope to see some of their aspirations and desires come true though the lives of their children. In the Asian mentality this is not as evil and manipulative thing to do as it is in the mainstream American, individualistic society, where one’s personal choice is the most important thing.

God is our Guide
1. you have to begin by telling God what you want. He will work with this.
2. Don’t just talk at him, listen.
3. seek confirmation of your sense of God’s leading through godly people whom you trust.

Vocation and Work in God’s Kingdom
Vocation – calling
Less to do with what we do from day to day to earn an living and more to do with our primary purpose for living – what God has created and called us to be.

Practical Suggestions
1. Trust that God is the One who has the best plan for your life.
2. Listen to your parents.
Are you able to articulate what their true concerns for you are? Can you talk to them about your future in the presence of a trusted friend and then hear your friend’s perspective about what they seem to be saying and where they are coming from?
Practically this means asking your parents well thought out questions in an honoring way that they can respond to.
3. Don’t use the Bible as a weapon.
Waging theological battles, especially when the issues are primarily cultural, are not fruitful.
4. Take advantage of advocates in talking with your parents.
Are there older people in authority whom your parents respect and who could connect with them on your behalf?
5. Show how you are being responsible in what you are considering.
Usually its not that our parents simply hate the alternative job choices, its that they don’t understand them and don’t see how they are going to provide well for our futures. What are your parents perspectives on the basics in terms of salary, benefits, retirement, and personal growth options? You should know what they are, so that you can work with this information respectfully and thoughtfully.
6. Consider a different timeline so that you and your family can be better prepared for the future you are stepping into.
Can you take an intentional time of preparation for what may come next?
7. let yourself dream and get in touch with your real desires and interests.