Lying to Myself

This is about the time of year where part of me tries to convince the whole of me to give it a rest. To shut it down, walk away, finalize the experiment to see how self sustaining it really is. To see what would happen to SPACE if I were to take a sabbatical. I use the word sabbatical because it implies taking a pause and then coming back. But that part of me is lying. Once it convinces me to leave, it's a done deal.

This certainly was the case last year - after a very busy Spring and early summer of initiating and launching teams and a fabulous weekend of Mission Advance, I told myself I was done. And then the ridiculous happened - I visited our at-that-time freshmen team working with Chain Reaction in Baltimore. And the part of me that was trying to do the convincing gave up, right then and there. I saw hope. I saw purpose. I saw the future. And I decided we weren't done yet.

I don't think you should feel like your SPACE team has the overdramatic responsibility for the future of me. That would be just silly. Like most people, I go through waves of certainty and uncertainty, low risk and high risk, loud and quiet. Those waves are anchored by the truth of who Jesus is my life and what kind of God uses people like me. But, your SPACE team certainly has the not-so-overdramatic responsibility for the future of humanity.

That's how to not to lie to yourself.

Photo: Last summer's SPACE 2007 Baltimore team.