Warren's Plan

He swaggered in wearing both a scowl and bad intentions. By profession, Warren was an evil fire-breathing clown in a horror show in Las Vegas. He also moonlighted as a freak-show wrestler.
By philosophy, Warren was an atheist—a hard-core atheist. A "There is no God, and if there was one I would hate him, and I despise anyone who believes there is a God or who tries to lead others to believe there is one" kind of atheist.
Warren heard about this new church starting in his city. He thought his city, a city that prides itself on sin, was no place for someone to start a new church. He decided to do something about it.
He realized a new church wouldn't have many people and that the people who did show up would not be very committed, which helped him form his plan: he would go to one of the church's first services, sit in the middle of the room, and wait. When the pastor walked onstage to give the sermon, Warren would stand up and let loose a barrage of profanity, throw some chairs, and hopefully hit the pastor and maybe a few others as well. He figured that all the people who were still making up their minds about the church would decide, "If I have to subject myself to this, forget it!" and never come back. The church wouldn't be able to survive without people, and Warren could brag for the rest of his life that he had killed a church.
It was a great plan. There was just one problem: I was the pastor.

- Vince Antonucci, Renegade: Your Faith Isn't Meant to be Safe