Monday, October 15, 2012

Transition to High School and I Should Apologize

Six weeks ago, our older daughter started high school. [And our younger one started middle school, for that matter.] It is in this transition that I fully understand that before having a high schooler in my home, I did not fully understand high school students. In that light, I may have to apologize to some former students that I know. I'll explain that in a second.

Our daughter Kt is a great student. She's always done very well at school and been very self directed. This year she's in 3 gifted and talented classes and she is playing on the freshman volleyball team. It makes for a very busy student. With those activities, her involvement at church, namely the weekly small groups called Dteams, and the every other week Friday night outreach gatherings, have been hit or miss. She simply doesn't have the time or the energy, between lots of schoolwork, volleyball practice every day and games every Tuesday and Thursday. As parents, we are trying to help her navigate this and unfortunately, church activities have to take the hit. Volleyball season is only September and October so things will change in a few weeks.

I say all this to explain that now, I understand the very busy, very packed schedule of a high school student. Certainly not all of them are this busy and I bet there are some that are even busier. But now I know and before I didn't.

In fact, before, I used to be pretty tough on kids that couldn't make it to church activities. They were 'apathetic' or 'fallen away' or 'too busy to choose the right things.' I think back now and I'm laughing at myself. What a turd. So if you were in my Dteam and were busy with these kinds of things and were not in fact fallen away, I apologize. And I applaud you for being commited to the right things, even in the midst of a very busy life. For in fact, maybe that is part of the true cost of discipleship - not giving up your potential while keep a commitment to Jesus in the renewal of all things - including high school academics, sports and life.

11 comments:

  1. How do we prepare them earlier to be missional to these their schools and teams? How do we prepare them to lead themselves in their personal discipleship for the months that they are involved in sports or school projects? How do we train leaders to shepard these students while they are involved outside of church programs? Thanks for the thoughts, they really made me think through this time in their lives.

    ReplyDelete
  2. those are great questions. not sure i have the answers... haha.

    [was this ben?]

    ReplyDelete
  3. Haha, this is awesome. Not that you're a turd, but you made me laugh.

    I absolutely think high school was one of the most stressful times I've had in life thus far, speaking in terms of scheduling. Including college, working full-time, and now grad school!

    Whenever I'm expected to spend seven straight hours anywhere, let alone fully "on" and social and thinking... that is a "long day" for me. And I used to do that five days a week AND THEN spend my evenings out??!!! Plus, it's one of the only times of life where, as you touch on, excellence is supposed to be spread out among so many fields. Academics, friendships, music, sports, church... I was/am busy in college and working and now, but I choose where I want to be busy and don't expect myself to excel in so many fuelds.

    All that to say, KT is a rock star, and high schoolers have an intense life!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. thanks for your comments emily - i think you nail it right on when you say high schoolers have an intense life. i didn't know that before, but now i know first hand. =)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Dude. I'm always inviting the high school girls over, and sometimes I feel like I'm their pity date. "Sure, Emily, I think I can squeeze you in on Thursday before youth group after soccer if I don't have plans with band or boyfriend or camp friends..."

    ReplyDelete
  6. haha thats funny. keep offering those pity dates =)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Food for thought for sure. I always looked at it as a competition for the hearts and minds of my guys; perhaps that was too much.

    At the same time, I tried to stress the need for being part of Jesus community and the support that comes from it. And then (try) to not care if it was a different Jesus community.

    I did (do still) always worry about guys who have no Jesus community and/or support.

    ReplyDelete
  8. good stuff matt - that's some good perspective!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love reading you two dialoguing.

    ReplyDelete
  10. you should hear it when we talk LOL

    ReplyDelete